Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ep.6. Oh. My. God… the Druh-Ra-Mah of this episode had me fizzing. Firstly, I think we have a new front runner in Chelsie (Stew). Our quiet and well-mannered chemical engineer sat on the back burner for quite some time and tbh, I discounted her and assumed she’d fade to black. This week’s single date was…

Ep. 5. This one is going to need a bit of a language warning. Given the distribution list, I feel like not even asterixis are going to be appropriate so my way to get around this would be to substitute the world’s most offensive word, with the worlds least most offense word. Carrot. So now…

Ep 4. I have a HUGE beef on how this episode played out. Ladies and Gentlemen, Suzi is angry. Angry enough to refer to myself in the first person. Firstly, yeah, yeah, congrats to Monique (Pete) for scoring a single date. Not write worthy because I fell asleep. However, for those new to The Bachelor…

Ep 3 . Ok everyone calm down, turns out Vakoo (Amie) had pink eye… that’s why she was missing from Ep 2’s Rose ceremony. Seriously, what goes on in The Bachelor mansion when the camera isn’t rolling? I feel like it’s not lingerie pillow fights more like a forced Dutch oven situation for the intruders…

Recap #2. Congratulations to Jess as the Persian Cigar (Sogand) ended up scoring the first date. And well, didn’t we all end up falling in love last night? Dudes, take note: A helicopter, leaving an expensive ball gown on a tree and a 30 piece orchestra is all it’s going to take to hook yourself…

Recap #1. This recap is temporarily unavailable while I re-watch Matt Agnew running shirtless on the beach…. Kidding. We met all the ladies. Abbie’s (Will) Gemini comment still has me questioning whether or not she actually was joking…honestly, I think that was legit. Kristen the China girl (Brett) just spend the last two years teaching…

Well it’s that time of year again. Cancel all of your mid-week social engagements, the mind-numbing and stupefying fiasco that is The Bachelor is back. And since the Bachelor sweeps were printed for me and placed on my desk, I guess so is my satirical running commentary on just how ridiculous the entire show is…

Well, well, well… What’s this then aye? Another birthday. The big 5. Hard to imagine that it’s been 5 years already but here we are. You’re about to start big girls School. Mummy is quietly terrified but not you. You’re excited, you’re pumped. You’re Isla. Anyway, this is not a time to be apprehensive over…

HOLY BATMAT!!! What an incredible 48 hours in Honey Badger Territory! I almost had to request an emergency day of leave to spend all day in bed crying after the combined emotional beating I copped watching The Bachelor finale this week. Firstly, can we just talk about how Australia was collectively destroyed when Brooke just…

The end is nigh. Ep. 13 YAAAAS home town visit weeeeek! You know what that means right? It’s all nearly over and I won’t be buckling under the crippling pressure to produce a satirical and overly enthusiastic collection of oratorical fireworks for you all. But I digress.  Firstly, the typical Bachie overly produced same kind…